This week we conclude the reading of the Book of Bereshit/Genesis with Parshat Va’yehi (Genesis 47:28-50:26). The name and first word of the parashah/portion means, “he lived.” This refers to Jacob, who is on his deathbed. He had been brought down to Egypt to live with his beloved son Joseph, whom he thought dead for over 20 years. Now, after 17 years in Egypt he is ready, at the age of 147, for his life to end. He gathers his twelve sons around his bed (daughter Dinah has long since disappeared from the narrative. But that is for another time), as well as Manasseh and Ephraim, Joseph’s sons by his Egyptian wife Osnat. When he blesses his two grandsons, he crosses his hands, thereby giving the preferred blessing of the elder child to the younger. And so, this family tradition that blessed Isaac over Ishmael, Jacob over Esau and Judah over his elder brothers continues on to the next generation.
It has always struck me, and many others, how Dinah disappears after she is raped by Shekhem earlier in Genesis, which is followed by her brothers murder of Shekhem and all of the men of his community in order to rescue Dinah.
In the midrash (rabbinic lore) the rabbis create a story whereby Dinah actually becomes pregnant from the rape and gives birth to a daughter called Osnat. In order to protect Osnat from Dinah's brothers, who are still angry over the 'afront to the family honor' (or something along those lines), Jacob places an amulet around her neck and an angel spirits her down to Egypt, where she is adopted by Poti-phera, priest of On. Joseph finds Osnat and, seeing the amulet around her neck, realizes that she is an Israelite. So he marries her. In this way the rabbis solve the "problem" of Joseph's "intermarriage." We won't discuss the implications of him marrying his own niece.
My midrashic story is based on this midrash. In addition, it is meant to provide an etymology for Dinah's name, which can find for all of her brothers at the time of their birth. In Hebrew Din-ah can mean "her justice." What exactly is that justice? You'll need to read further to find discover the answer.
A Sister's Justice
It has been years since we have seen one another. I suppose you wondered if I was still alive. Though I know that once we held a great deal of affection for one another I don't suppose we were ever able to get beyond the feelings which were stirred up by my encounter with Shekhem and your reaction.
I was there when you murdered Shekhem and his men in order to avenge what had been done to me. However, I only wish that you had taken my feelings into consideration when doing so. It is true that Shekhem violated me, and yet I never wanted to be the cause of more bloodshed. Enough violence had been perpetrated already and heaping more violence upon that did nothing to help. I wish that you had allowed me to handle the situation myself; to deal with Shekhem in my own way, rather than taking justice into your own hands.
But that is not why I am writing you. Rather, I am writing because word has just reached me of our father's death and I am deeply grieved. It seems impossible that he is no longer on this earth. I only wish I could have been there to see him one last time, and receive his blessing directly, but I am pleased to know that I at least was able to do so through Ephraim and Menasseh. It seems fitting that they received such a special blessing from our father since it was he who is truly responsible for their birth. I assume you know not of what I am speaking, that you are somewhat perplexed, so let me enlighten you.
I am sure you remember how distraught you were when you discovered that I had conceived a child by Shekhem. And when my daughter was born your distress turned to anger. Once again, thoughts of violence filled your minds -- as if you hadn't perpetrated enough violence already. You sought to kill my daughter for she reminded you of her father and what he had done to you and our family honor (I truly don't believe that any of this had much to do with me, when it comes down to it). It is as if her birth meant that your slaughter of Shekhem was for naught. Luckily, father showed compassion towards her. He inscribed the Divine Name on an amulet, placed it around her neck to assure her of God's protection and sent her way. And God did indeed provide. With the assistance of the angel Michael she made her way to Egypt. My little Osnat, who could have been my comfort in my old age, so far away. Yet she was again blessed, for she was adopted by Poti-phera a high priest of Egypt, and his wife, who were childless. They loved her and cared for her until she grew to be a beautiful and bright young woman. I know all this for I followed her to Egypt and watched from afari, afraid to let my identity be known lest you should search for her, or me, and find us together.
When our brother Joseph came to Egypt it was as if my Holy Protector had provided me with another miracle. I knew who Joseph was from the first moment I lay eyes upon him and yet I spoke not. I watched as he fell in love with my daughter and as he struggled with the fact that she was of Egypt and not a worshipper of the One God, creator of Heaven and Earth. When he discovered the amulet which father had made for her he knew then that she was indeed a Hebrew. Out of love for him she renounced her heathen ways and embraced our God - her God. They were married and had two lovely boys.
How I would watch them play, my dear Ephraim and Menasseh. Longing to hold them, to kiss them, to call them my own. And yet I dare not. To this day I am not sure why. Surely I would hope that Joseph would have sympathized with my plight, considering what he had been through. We had both been betrayed by our brothers. And yet I no longer felt like I could be part of the family of Jacob. I could not consider myself to be a part of a family of sons who kill, of sons who sell their brother into slavery, who lie to their father, who treat their sister with disdain. I had to be my own person. I had to distance myself from all the men in my family, even father, whom I loved. I was now simply Dinah bat Leah and I chose to remain silent.
So I lived silent, anonymous, alone for many years, receiving vicarious pleasure as I watched my daughter and her sons from afar. Then you came to Egypt in search of food and all the old memories were stirred up. The hatred began to well up inside me. Hatred of those who killed,supposedly, in my name. Those who forced me into hiding, who drove my only child away, who caused me to remain nameless. Yet, as I heard the stories of how Joseph dealt with you, in spite of all you had done to him... when I heard of Judah's bravery; how he offered himself in Benjamin's stead; when I heard that you had reconciled with Joseph and that he had forgiven you, I realized that perhaps the time had come for me to forgive as well. After much prayer and meditation I made peace with you in my heart and I then left. I left all of you, my daughter, my grandsons, in order to truly start a new life elsewhere, having now let go of my anger, having let go of the past.
Not long after I left I heard tales of the death of the father of the great Joseph. Stories reached me of the address which he gave to you and the blessings he gave my grandsons. Had I been there I do not know that I would have been blessed, for I was never destined to be a leader of our people; my biology saw to that. And yet, though absent for so many years and by so many miles I still received my blessings; I received my place as an ancestor of generations of our people to come, through our father's decision to bless my dear Ephraim and Menasseh.
It is as if all that had happened to me and to all of you has been made right. You had tried to deny me my place in our family history. You sought to destroy my name by destroying my daughter and forcing me to flee. You thought you had achieved your goal. No more was the name of Dinah, the one who brought shame to the family, mentioned. The feelings of love which we had for one another had long been submerged beneath a sea of denial, shame and anger. (Please pardon me if I am beginning to sound harsh again. I know I said that I had made peace with you and your actions. But that does not mean that some underlying anger and resentment - if not hatred - will not always exist somewhere in my heart.)
As I listened to these tales of the blessing of Jacob's grandsons....my grandsons, something struck me. You see, I had always found it strange that in the family lore everyone seemed to know the origins of their names except for me. Each of you knew why you had been given a certain name. I was simply Dinah. No reason, no origin was ever given for my name. But now our father's deathbed blessing has given meaning to my name. For finally I am truly the one who has found Din-ah, her justiceii. Not the bloody justice of her brothers, but the righteous justice which she desires and deserves. In the blessing of my grandchildren justice has finally been done for me by our father and our God. I have found my place in our family. I have found my place amongst our people. I can now say that I am Dinah bat Leah v'Yaakov - the one who found justice in the blessing of her seed, at the hands of her father. The one who sits with her brothers, her parents and her grandparents as a matriarch of Israel from now until eternity. You may have tried to erase me from the family history, but in the end it was your actions which ensured that I will always have a place in it. It may not be as good as getting my place directly and fairly, but I'll take what I can get ... for now. I simply hope that you will accept this as you have accepted my daughter and my grandsons, for I truly believe that this is what our father, and our mothers, would have wanted.
May peace be unto you my brothers and may we some day be together again, united in love, as a family, with all the women and men who have gone before us and all those who will follow us in the future.
Dinah bat (daughter of) Leah and Yaakov/Jacob, mother of Osnat, grandmother of Ephraim and Menasseh, ancestor of generations yet-to-come